Gonna be a paladin some day.

I know what you're thinking.  You thinking, "Meff, you're a tauren.  Taurens can't be paladins."  Well, you're wrong.  I know, cause the Light told me.  Light's always talked to me, even when I was a little girl.  Called him the Eternal Sun back then.  Didn't know no better.  Then one day my da took me all the way to Ratchet and I saw my first human.  A woman.  A warrior.  With a little silver brooch that looked like a hand.

"Hey!" I says to a goblin merchant.  "Ask her how much for that pretty thing."

Goblin asks.  "She won't sell it.  Says it's holy to her.  Shows she's a warrior dedicated to the, um, uh... sun, I guess you'd call it."

My heart rose, o my brothers and sisters, because I was strong and I loved the Sun.  And I did not know that the Sun had warriors of his own.  "How'd she do that?  Hey!  Hey, goblin!  Ask her how she did that."  Goblin, he wasn't much help till I gave him a bundle of rabbit skins.  Then he turned my words into human words.  And this woman told me about the Light, and paladins.  Taught me how to praise the Light in human words, so anyone I met would understand.

When my da comes to get me, I told him, "Da, I'm gonna be a paladin when I get big."

"Meff, you're an idiot," my da says.  "And you're always gonna be an idiot -- nothing more."

Well, he was wrong.  I became a warrior, cause paladins are warriors.  I learned to use a sword, like that paladin-woman did.  Maybe that don't sound like a lot to you.  But the sword is a human weapon.  Can't nobody teach it to you, 'cept humans -- and those that used to be human.  So in my eighth season I travelled to Lordaeron, to the Undercity.  Now there is a cold and frightening place, o my people!  I have never felt so far away from the Light.  But I went.  And I learned the way of the sword.  And the Light kept me safe till I was home in Kalimdor.

Eight seasons later, I knew I was ready.  I turned my face towards the Sun and shouted, "I want to be a paladin.  Tell me what I must do."

Light shines down on me and says, "If you want to be a paladin, you gotta go to Stormwind."

That ain't what I want to hear -- Stormwind's a long ways away.  But I was the one who asked.  So I says, "That's how it's gotta be?  Okay then.  That's how it's gonna be."

Don't even know where Stormwind is, but I figure goblins know everyplace you can make money.  So I go to Ratchet, and sure enough, a goblin shows me a map with Stormwind on it.  "So if I want to go to Stormwind, I gotta take the boat to Booty Bay and head north?" says I.

"No way, sweet-cheeks," says the goblin.  "If you want to go to Stormwind, you got to turn around, head back to the Barrens, and get a hell of a lot better with that sword.  There's things in Stranglevine that'll snap up a little heifer like you in a heartbeat."

"Ain't worried," I says.  "Light'll preserve me."

Boat's right there, and it's no time at all 'fore I'm in Booty Bay.  But I peeked into the jungle and the goblin was right.  "Light," says I, "no way I'm making it through this place."

Light shined down on me, hot and fierce.  "Remember Sen'jin."  Then I laughed, cause I knew just what he meant.  In Sen'jin, I learned to swim.  So I went to the end of the dock and jumped into the sea.

Now let me tell you, o my brothers and sisters, that the swim from Booty Bay is terrible.  I passed nagas and murlocs strong enough to kill me in the blink of an eye.  But they never swum out to me.  And every time I tired, every time I could not go on, I found an island -- empty, and safe -- where I could rest.  The Light preserves.  He watched over me, all the way to Westfall.

Mile followed mile, until at last I saw it.  Stormwind, City of the Light.  Its walls were white as the purest snow, gleaming in the sun's bright rays.  And as I stepped into the road before its gates, I saw a sight I never dreamed of.  A great cathedral, tall as the sky, rising up in the city's heart.  "The Cathedral of Light," said the Voice of the Eternal Sun.  "My home."

My knees gave way then, and I knelt in the dust of the road.  And I praised the Light, which brought me here safe.

But as I did, I heard a cry and saw a warrior run towards me.  "I mean you no harm," I called out as I rose to my feet.  "Do not be afraid!"

Well, that guard, she wasn't afraid.  She was mad.  She chased me no matter where I ran.  Didn't matter to her that I didn't raise my hand against her.  She beat me till my blood run everywhere.  And then she left me for dead in the ditches by the road.

I wasn't dead, of course.  Wouldn't be telling you this story if I was.  But it was a long time 'fore I could stand again.  And when I found my feet, I found I also had a problem.

How was I going to get to the Cathedral of Light if the guards drove me off?  How was I going to learn to be a paladin?  I scouted for miles to the east and the west.  But Stormwind's walls were made by a wise warrior.  I found no way to sneak over them, no gate that was not guarded.

I found other things, though.  I found humans.  Found elves and dwarves and a little runty dwarf-thing that musta been a gnome.  Found lots of people who weren't afraid of me.  Oh, they were wary at first.  Makes sense, not knowing if I was a person of honor or not.  But once I smiled and bowed, they smiled back.  Wasn't a one of them that was cruel, or mean.

When I knew that I couldn't slip into Stormwind, I found a little lake by a town.  Set myself down and fished.  Fished for a long time.

The Light shines down through the trees, warm and gentle.  Finally he says to me, "Meff," he says, "What you doing?"

"Thinking."

" 'Bout?"

" 'Bout this place.  'Bout these people.  Stormwind was razed, wasn't it?  By the orcs."

"Yep," says the Light.

"And the humans took it back, and built it again."  Didn't say nothing for a bit, then I looked up at the Sun.  "Think I'd be powerful mad if I had something this beautiful, and somebody busted it.  Bet a lotta people died when it fell."

"Yep."

"Bet a lotta innocent blood was spilled.  'Cause of the orcs."  Light didn't say nothing.  " 'Cause of what the demons made the orcs do."

"You got the right of it there," said the Light.

"So the orcs done terrible things.  And the humans done terrible things back.  So the orcs get revenge.  And the humans do too.  Does it ever end?"

"You know the answer to that one."

I snorted.  "Yeah, I do.  It ends when we say it ends.  Like that guard.  Part of me wants to go back and hurt her for what she done.  But I guess if someone's gotta stop hating, might as well be me.  Ain't never gonna be a paladin if I hate."  I stood up.  Stretched.  Put the fishing pole away.  "Gonna give this one more shot, Light.  Maybe there's a different guard up there now.  One who's tired of hating, too."

But there wasn't.  Same old guard.  Same old hate.  Didn't get an inch closer to the Cathedral.

Didn't know what to do then.  Didn't understand.  The Light always preserves me, like he did in Stranglethorn.  So why did he bring me this close -- so close that I could see the Cathedral of Light -- and then abandon me?

As I stood there, thinking, up walks an elf and a human.  Human's young, 'bout my age.  A paladin.  Elf's an elf -- lot older.  I smile.  They smile.  I bow.  They bow.  "Meff," I says, tapping my chest.  "Albertus," says the paladin.  Elf taps his chest... and says a mouthful.  "Za...." I say, trying to copy him.  Elf says his name again.  "Za... uh, Zaa... uh, sorry.  Can't do elf names.  You gonna be Za, I'm afraid."

Za and Albertus watch me, curious.  I stare at the Cathedral until Guard Foul Temper starts to patrol back this way.  Then I gotta run and hide.  Za and Albertus follow.  Za, he thinks for a long time.  Then he says, in broken Taurehe, "Long journey.  Why you here?"

I danced for joy, o my people, to hear words I understood.  But my babbling was too much for Za to grasp.  So I pointed to the Cathedral in the distance and praised the Light.  Za's eyes widened.  "Paladin's Light?"  I nodded.  "You want to be a paladin?"  I nodded again.

Hope raised its head within my heart.  Maybe Za and Albertus could sneak me in.  Albertus was a paladin.  Maybe they had secret paths, hidden roads, and he could take me to the Cathedral.  And then the paladins would train me.  And then I would be a warrior of the Light.  And then...

Albertus shook his head.  Za too.  No.  It was not to be.

I waited as they spoke amongst themselves.  I pointed at the Cathedral, praying the Light would tell them how to get me there.  But the Light did not shine upon my path.  Both men shook their heads, Za with great sadness.  "I wish taurens could be paladins," he said.

One more time I stepped into the road.  One more time I knelt and honored the Light's Home, within sight but out of reach.  Then I walked back to Za and Albertus and bid them farewell.  Za tried to comfort me, but my heart was heavy as I pulled out my hearthstone.  The woods around me melted away, and I stood in the Crossroads.  Home, again.  I walked out into the plains, sat on a rock, and wept.

Time passed.  Long time, 'fore the Light spoke to me.  "Meff, what you doing?" he said.

"Crying."

" 'Bout?"

"Never gonna be a paladin, am I?"

"Why you say that?"

"I can't get to the Cathedral of Light.  Even if I got there, maybe the paladins just attack me anyways."

"So?"

"So?  SO?!?"  I jumped up, stamping my hoof and shaking my horns at the Light.  "You said I could be a paladin if I went to Stormwind.  Well I did.  And nothing happened."

Light sounded sad, and I knew I let him down.  "Nothing happened?  If that's true, maybe you're right.  Maybe you'll never be a paladin."

"I tried.  But they wouldn't train me!"

"Didn't say they had to train you.  Just said you had to go to Stormwind."

"I did.  And nothing happened."

"Nothing?  Nothing at all?"

"Well, I saw things.  People.  Kind ones, mean ones -- just like we got here.  I caught a mess of smallfish -- no different from the ones in Mulgore.  I thought... a lot.  But I never made it to the Cathedral of Light."

"Being a paladin isn't about places."

"Didn't get a holy silver hand brooch, like that other paladin had."

"Being a paladin isn't about brooches."

"Didn't even have a vision of you."

Light laughed, long and loud.  "Can't you see me?  I'm all around you."

"Yeah I see you.  I see you all the time, though.  Why'd I have to go to Stormwind?"

"Did you see me there?"

" 'Course I saw..."  I blinked.  "You were there, weren't you?  Like you are here.  No different."

"Maybe you should go think some more about that.  And the smallfish.  And the people."  Light made the air dance before my eyes in waves of heat.

"Is being a paladin about thinking?"

"Yep.  Sorta."

"Okay.  I'll think.  But first, I got stuff to do.  There's people sick, and children going hungry, and demon-worshippers enslaving orcs.  Gotta do something 'bout all of that."

"You do that.  That's part of it, too.  See, maybe you gonna be a paladin some day after all."

I laughed, turning my face towards the sun so that the Light dried up my tears.  "Who says I'm not already?"

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